Childlessness

[Peacekeeper]

I read in EMB that one of the reasons to abstain from PMI is for the sake of our children. But what if children is not in one's future. I'm 35 years old and soon to be 36 and don't know if I would ever marry. But I made up my mind that kids are not in my future. I have no intention of adopting, or marrying a single parent, and having kids biologically is not only unlikely but also more likely to be born with problems. Not to mention I am in a job that doesn't leave much time for a family and is also a dangerous occupation where I might not come home one day.

Lets say I did marry someone at 40 and became a father at 45 (hey, I want to experience a few years of marriage without little ones around) by the time the child is 10 I would be 50. By the time the child is 20, I would be 60. By the time the child hits 30, I would be gone. That is assuming I would even see 50 or 60.

I know I should never say never. But I really wonder why I should be open to having kids myself.

[babymomma]

I'm a little unclear on exactly what you are asking. But I do know that life is full of surprises. Only God knows what your life will be like 10 years from now. You could end up married to a lovely lady and end up having a surprise baby (unplanned pregnancy). It happens all of the time. You just never know.....

[Peacekeeper]

I guess what I am asking is it okay to slam the door on the possibilty of having kids and deciding never to have children? Is deliberate childness a sin or viable lifestyle choice?

[babymomma]

I haven't ever really thought about it but off the top of my head I'd say no. If deliberate childlessness was a sin then wouldn't celibacy be a sin? Paul advocates singleness (and therefore childlessness). But the only way to make sure you'll not have children is to remain celibate. There are only a few options that are a 100% guarantee and they require surgery. I mean, even with a vasectomy there's a slight chance that you could get pregnant (I think...could be wrong about that though). No birth control is 100% effective. So if you do choose to get married then you need to remain somewhat open to the fact that it may happen no matter how you plan against it.
Hope I'm getting my point across clearly.....I feel like I'm just rambling on today. Like I said though, I don't believe it's a sin to choose not to have children (altough as a mom of 2.....one of which was uplanned....I'd say you might miss out on a huge blessing in your life ).

[Peacekeeper]

Yeh, I guess unless it were biologically impossible, I can never slam the door to the idea entirely if I ever got married unless I met someone in old age and she too was in old age. But I am not thinking that far ahead LOL!

[Truly]

...but then there's Abraham and Sarah.

[holyhart]

I read in EMB that one of the reasons to abstain from PMI is for the sake of our children. But what if children is not in one's future. I'm 35 years old and soon to be 36 and don't know if I would ever marry. But I made up my mind that kids are not in my future.

I have to ask...are you asking about childlessness as a reason to justify not giving up PMI???

[Peacekeeper]

I don't need children as a reason to abstain from PMI. Thing is people around me say we should stop PMI for the sake of our children, which I don't plan on having. I know that if I had kids, anything that happens to me will affect them. If I don't father my own children, then anything that happens to me happens to me alone. But still, I know I should abstain from PMI because it gets in the way with my relationship with God, plain and simple.

[holyhart]

Just checking....but good answer. Figured before I could mention anything else I just needed to see where you were at kwim?


Anyway, I don't think being childless is a sin as many men in the bible were without children. But I caution you to not be too hasty in that decision. Make sure it is HIS will for your life and not your own.