The Drug of the New Millennium

[JoeMS]

I'm currently reading the book, The Drug of the New Millennium:The Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use.
http://www.amazon.com/Drug-New-Millenni ... 854&sr=1-1

I am finding it quite helpful. I think it would be especially helpful to the wife of a sex addict or any man who struggles with purity.

One section that stands out is on the differences between the female and male brain as it relates to sexual stimulation. I think it will help women to better understand a man's temptations. Hopefully she will be able to forgive and also take the sins quite seriously.

It is not a religion book, nor is it written in technical language for medical professionals. The author, M. Kastleman, often mentions God's plan for sexuality in marriage but does not quote scriptures.

Kastleman also has articles and podcasts on this subject, however I like the book's presentation much more, especially for wives of sex addicts.
http://www.internetsafetypodcast.com/?p=25
http://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/169

[danandbevsfarm]

Hi Joe; I just listened to the podcasts with Dr. Kastleman and found myself agreeing 100% from experience with the discussion. IMO any one of us here on this sight that have been through P & M and reached the other side would find the discussion a very accurate depiction of the downhill slide into sexual addiction. You and I have both seen that Playboy in the 50's-70's was the "hook" but there just wasn't enough "buzz" from that, so we progressed deeper to get the same "buzz", then deeper, until, thank the Lord, the Holy Spirit took us over and led us out of the trap. Dr. Kastleman does a good job explaining it to the uninitiated, and yet, "they" still disregard direct evidence. The evidence is clear that pornography "dumbs down" our society and the world and probably will continue dumbing down until the Lord returns to take us home. There is very little desire in the hearts of humans to stop the slide. There is a passage in Luke where Jesus asks a rhetorical question;

Luke 18:8 (New International Version)

................................................... However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

[JoeMS]

Dan, do you think women would find Kastleman's resources helpful as they attempt to better understand their struggling, sinful husbands?

[danandbevsfarm]

Hi Joe; I would say yes and no. How's that for equivocating! There are women that could relate when Dr. Kastleman uses chocolate as an example to get the "comfort high" but unless they are into the sexual perversion themselves, I don't think they could grasp the funnel concept where ALL focus is given over to completing the act and nothing else matters; not wife, not kids, not work, not friends, nadda!! I don't think that women get "caught" up like men do so IMO they wouldn't understand. Because women function more on an emotional plain, they wouldn't be able to give up relationships for the high so the funnel concept might be foreign to them. But I think they could sympathize but not empathize if that makes sense. I think that is why some women have posted that we men are minimizing our P & M with excuses. But when all those juices get flowing, our focus is to get to home plate and we will sacrifice ANYTHING to get there. I hope that answered the question, Joe.

[JoeMS]

, I don't think they could grasp the funnel concept where ALL focus is given over to completing the act and nothing else matters; not wife, not kids, not work, not friends, nadda!!

I realize that few women will really understand. My hope is that they will become educated about the real differences. Of course guys need that education as well. Guys can think their wife is not interested, but in reality, because of her wider funnel, as Kastleman describes it, she needs to have conflict resolved, the mood set nicely and a generous amount of time invested.

Hopefully women will better understand intellectually that men are wired in a way that it makes it easier for them to disregard other factors and successfully get to the narrow portion of the funnel rather quickly.

[danandbevsfarm]

Hi Joe; I was at my "wife's house" today watching PBS when your guy, Dr. Amens, came on and had an excellent lesson on the difference between the male and female brain in processing; left side and right side, brain activity, and how we perceive each other. I know most of the women will applaud his statement about looking at your man when you THINK he is DEEP in thought and find out that 70% of his brain processing is DEAD. It's no wonder, how many frying pan blows to the head can we take? . I missed part of the show so I'm going to see if I can call it back on the internet. If I can find it, I'll post it.

[danandbevsfarm]

I found it Joe; It was part 2 of a DVD by Dr Amen for PBS. Here is the DVD order site. Didn't find a free viewing though.

http://www.amenclinics.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=220

[JoeMS]

Dr. Amen has a number of helpful resources, including several PBS specials. His latest which I saw a few days ago is "change your brain, change your body" It is mostly about weight loss and healthy eating. Of course he is a psychiatrist and brain imaging pioneer; however I think his Christian background helps me to be comfortable with his perspective. I am very uncomfortable with much of the psychobabel that is out there! I had a brain scan at one of his clinics a number of years ago. The combination of supplements, diet, lifestyle modifications and a small dose of medication for ADHD have been quite impressive. As I've said previously, the biggest surprise after starting treatment was that I don't have an intense "adrenaline rush" when I see tempting images while I am on the meds, etc! I recommend them.